


Chrysanthemum

by lu_oo



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Other, no beta we die like the yggdrasil system
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27983550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lu_oo/pseuds/lu_oo
Summary: There is a mysterious flower room on The Aurora.
Relationships: Drumbot Brian/Lyfrassir Edda
Comments: 28
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo basically I wanted to write a gift fic for a friend because he is very fond of the idea of Brian having a garden AND he is very fond of the idea of flowers being put in Lyf's hair. So I said, okay here you go but you must suffer immensely first.
> 
> I don't think there are any content warnings on this one but let me know if you spot something you would CW! Also, Lyf's being a little bitch for the entire chapter, sorry about that 😔
> 
> (also I hope this is readable, I have never formatted a fic dialogue in my life)

They like to think they’ve gotten used to living on a spaceship. The problem with Aurora, however, is that she is, relatively, much bigger than the tiny, one-person spacecraft they spent the last… however long it’s been. Perception of time is complicated now. It has been for a while they reckon. Still, it is a change, not only in size but also because… there are people. They discovered that, after their initial frustrations with them toned down a bit, they really did not enjoy being around anyone anymore. Especially not around the overtly loud band of musician space pirates. They occasionally ponder if it makes them a hypocrite, after all, they spent so much time on their tiny little spaceship longing for something, someone, anyone to at least talk to only to reject any and every attempt at contact. But after the anger, and oh how angry they initially were, went away they found themselves… empty. Just completely and utterly numb to everything around them. Thankfully, nobody here seems to mind them wandering aimlessly around, what seems to them like massive space, at least in comparison to what they’ve grown used to. The Aurora simply had tons of rooms, corridors, spaces to wander around. The noise on the spaceship is, on most days, too much, and so they wander around looking for a place...to what? hide in? They don’t like that line of thought. They are simply looking for some well-deserved peace, away from the noise and hopefully away from their own thoughts for long enough to get some rest.

A good place to hide...no, not hide… a good place to rest on the Aurora is a peculiar, medium-sized room they’ve discovered by an accident some time ago. A hidden room in the lower area of the spaceship, with the metallic door half-open at all times, filled to the brim with various plants and flowers from what, they can only assume, is at least several solar systems. It’s very cosy, they think. They like to think that their past self would’ve gotten quite excited about the green and lush cascades of, what they can only describe as, some sort of foreign species of fern, hanging from the ceiling in adorned clay pots. Maybe find some joy in the massive collection of strangely shaped and coloured flowers, stowed in massive urns, maybe even find some time to smell them. They can’t smell much anymore. It’s like all of their senses are dulled, put past a thick foil they’ve been forcefully wrapped in. They stopped trying to break free a while ago. So no, as nice of a company as the plants are, they definitely don’t visit this particular room for them. The biggest selling point of it is how empty it is. They are certain they have never seen another person come in, or out of the room, and to them, it seems like a sort of miracle that the plants are thriving without really being taken for. Of course, the logical part of their brain knows someone must come here, at least once in a while. On their part, even if they mustered the motivation to, they wouldn’t know how to take care of the flowers, shrubs and ferns neatly placed around the room. The only plants they had in the past were 4 particularly sturdy succulents, ones that didn’t need a lot of care and ones they could forget to water regularly. Whoever the mysterious flower caretaker is, they never once run into them, and they hope it stays that way. It is a nice space, they think, and while not particularly attached to it, it’s the one they feel safest in. Would be a shame to have to migrate elsewhere. Their own given room isn’t the worst thing, but they’ve already experienced far too many nightmares in it. This is a pleasant change of scenery, somewhere to curl in and at least attempt to relax.  
They curl between a clay pot containing a massive plant with strangely shaped, stripped like leaves and a bag of, what they assume to be soil. Despite everything, it’s comfortable. Comfort is a rare blessing now. They let themself drift away in relative peace.

Which is why they are quite upset about being disturbed. Some faint traces of anger pass through them when someone dares to lightly tap them on their shoulder. They hesitantly open their eyes to see… ah. It’s the weird metal man. Brendon or whatever. They didn’t particularly care about memorising more names than necessary, especially not names of people who happily went around making musicals out of someone’s (in this case theirs) personal tragedies.  
“Good morning?” Is what the man says. Bobby? Gods, they can’t remember.  
“What… are you doing here?” They ask slowly. They wonder if any traces of irritation show up in their voice and the uglier part of them feels… they don’t know, excited? They feel something again and it’s genuine. Maybe deep inside they miss being, at least, angry. That at least was an emotion, not this stagnant limbo they currently find themselves in.  
“Could ask you the exact same question.” He sounds… polite enough they think. But it’s the sort of cautious cold politeness they are overly familiar with. “This is my garden, you know. I have been cultivating it for a while now, you see, this is actually a second… version of it, as the first one has unfortunately perished a solid millennium ago. A huge shame, really-”  
“It’s okay, I can just go.” They don’t really feel like listening to… Boyne? No, that is not it either...especially not after he disrupted what could’ve been a peaceful nap. Maybe there would not be nightmares this time. Maybe they could sleep peacefully for at least a few hours without waking up. They decide that the metal man has committed a great offence by denaying them at least that. They watch him do some confusing hand gestures as he begins to speak again.  
“I wasn’t necessarily chasing you away. It’s just surprising to find you here, you know? No one else really comes here. Aurora sometimes sprinkles the plants, which you must agree is very polite of her.” He gently taps the ship’s metal wall. “So, you can go back to uh… napping on the floor and I will get to my work? Sounds good?”  
They nod slightly. As if it was this easy to just go back to sleep. Stupid metal man and his stupid… what, gardening passion? They are getting irrationally upset now, there would be no cosy green room without… Brian, they think they have it right this time. They watch him sort of awkwardly pick up a watering can and walk away towards the nearest sink.

Lyfrassir is aware, of course, of robots but they don’t feel quite comfortable in taking...Brian, yes, for one. Back home no one would’ve thought to make a robot which would resemble a person this closely. And also, as far as they were aware, no one thought to make their kitchen appliance clearly sentient. They discovered the existence of person-robots on some distant planet they’ve stopped on to refuel their ship and after everything they’ve seen it has not phased them. Maybe only slightly. There were many strange things across the universe and they’ve come to accept that. They probably seemed like one of those strange things to others. Still, “robot” seemed a bit rude, given what their associations with the word were. They also wouldn’t apply this term to the spaceship. Sentient spaceships were likewise, a new thing, but surprisingly they were not an unwelcomed addition to Lyf’s expanding mental catalogue of beings. The Aurora is nice enough to them, and maybe the only person, well spaceship, they enjoy casual chats with. Apparently, not everyone could easily chat with her and it’s something they credit to their current form of existence, whatever it was.

The metal man continues his tasks, from watering the plants (not all of them, they note) to applying fertiliser or getting rid of the dried leaves. They can tell he is trying his best to make as little noise as possible, which is admittedly very kind of him. Still, there is absolutely no way they are falling asleep like this.  
“Um…” They start, “How long exactly, are you going to be here?”  
“Well, there is a lot of plants and I have to take care of practically all of them? And you know, they are all from different corners of the galaxy, so each of them needs their own special thing. Not so easy to keep plants alive on a spaceship.” He replies in the same polite tone.  
“I see.”  
“You can help if you want to?” He walks up, leaving the big spiky plant behind, closer to them.  
“Not really. Thought you said you were okay with me being here.”  
“Of course I am it’s just…” Again with the hand gestures. “You are being awfully snappy today, I’m thinking maybe this would. I don’t know, cheer you up?”  
Something about this makes them boil inside. Of course, they were “snappy”, they were stuck here, on this spaceship, with people who wanted nothing more than to make fun of them. Sing their stupid songs about the tragic end of a system they didn’t even try to save. A great story they could happily perform, and laugh and sing while Lyf was desperately trying to hold themself together in a universe where there was no one left who cared about them. They can fill the tips of their ears warm up.  
“Peaceful sleep would cheer me up. Knowing what the fuck has happened to me would cheer me up. I’m not sitting here because I like your plants or you for that matter.” To be fair they didn’t even know this was his room until today. “It would maybe cheer me up if you left so I can go back to being on my own.”  
“So you can… go back to sleeping on the floor between the monstera plant and the bag of soil? You know that’s a little concerning, right?” Oh, now he has the audacity to be concerned. They wonder if the consistent polite tone is to specifically piss them off more. Keep it up on their side or they’ll be the irrational one. They are being irrational, deep inside they know it. What is this visceral need to feel something doing to them?  
“I don’t particularly care for your concern, thank you.” They make sure to sound as unthankful as possible. “I’m not sure if you noticed but I’m trying my best to avoid you and your… friends… as best as I possibly can, so either go back to nurturing your plants or just go away.” Too far maybe. They went too far. They know this because there is a brief moment in which they can tell a particular sadness flashed through Brian’s face. For someone made out of metal, he is rather expressive.  
“No one’s keeping you here forcibly, you know that. Just ask and you can go on your merry way” is all he says before leaving.

They know that. Of course, they know that. As they watch the half-open door sway back and fort they start to feel uneasy. Suddenly the room doesn’t feel as comforting as it did before.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a brief mention of someone getting stabbed with the intention of. committing murder. But it's okay, they got better! Just putting it out there as a CW.
> 
> I also tried to break up the text a little so it's easier to read, enjoy 👋

For the next few days, Lyfrassir spends almost all of their time trotting nervously around, what they decided to call in their head, the green room. It cheers them up a little, knowing that they can still feel bad about being unnecessarily rude to someone and essentially kick them out of their own room, to want to actively seek them out and apologise. However, they desperately want to have the apologising done and to go back to... peacefully doing nothing and avoiding everyone in their sight. Maybe there is a different, equally cosy room they haven’t discovered yet. 

The complicated thing is that they barely really know Brian, they didn’t even remember _his name_ until recently, so the apologising part might actually prove to be tricky. Another problem is that they are rather certain they lost the ability to talk to other people. 

Chatting with The Aurora has been helping them with it, they think. However, she didn’t mind them taking the time to respond and she didn’t mind them trailing off mid-sentence. She said it’s been a while since she properly spoke with others too, which made sense because it didn’t seem like they could properly understand her. They don’t want to pry too much into her personal… life… but apparently, there used to be someone else who she could freely talk to. Not around anymore, supposedly. They aren’t sure because The Aurora doesn’t like talking about it. They can certainly understand the sentiment. 

There is also the problem of Brian simply refusing to show up around the room and they don’t feel like seeking him out on their own. It’s easier to just stay around here and wait than to risk randomly running into any of the other Mechanisms. They could get shot by the one with messy hair (Tod?) again or they could, gods forbid, run into La Cognizi and they really, really do not wish to know what she wants to do to them in that laboratory of hers.

It takes them three universal space-time days, they know because they made sure to keep track of time specifically for this, of staying in or around the room to finally run into Brian. And when they finally do he looks… upset. Oh, dear. 

“Lyfrassir.”

“Yes.” They answer. Why do they feel like they are about to be interviewed? 

“I do need to take care of my plants you know. I think it is definitely rude to bother someone who clearly wants to be left alone, but I also think it’s even worse to let poor innocent plants die. I really don’t feel like having to restart the entire room again.” 

They think it’s arguably worse to let _innocent people_ die but they don’t say it. They are here to put a bandaid on this barely existing relationship, not scratch another cut in it. And it’s nice to know he put some effort into not-bothering them. They just need to blather the apology out and be on their way. And maybe never come around this place again. 

“I. I am sorry for being rude to you last time” Great start. They feel like they are in elementary school again, apologising for breaking some other kid’s crayon. 

“O-okay…?” He sounds surprised. Oh, they are doing horribly. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I’m chasing you away, I just thought. You know everyone takes some time processing and everyone takes breaks sometimes.”

“Bre… breaks. What exactly do you classify as breaks?”

“I don’t know. Everyone takes some time off sometimes? Like what Marius, Ivy and Raphaella were doing on Midgard-”

“Crimes. They were doing crimes on Midgard. And then they were performing, very loudly, on their stupid magical instruments, how is that a break exactly?”

“Vacation.” He says that with a genuine smile and they can’t help but roll their eyes. Getting stuck in a prison cell and tormenting traffic inspectors is a holiday activity apparently. “I guess I just feel a little… I don’t want you to think you can’t just leave, you know? You just kind of followed us around the concert...incident... and I’m not entirely sure as to why?”

The event Brian has politely referred to as “the concert incident” basically summarised them breaking into a concert venue and having a massive breakdown due to hearing a theatre 

drama musical rendition of their own recordings.

“I was trying to kill you.”

“Oh. Huh. Is that why you stabbed Marius six times with a knife when you found us-”

“A “knife”, it was a dagger, Brian.”

“ Um well yes, as you can see it’s not exactly easy to stab us to death because we are-”

“Immortal. Yes. I know. I think I am too.” They don’t like remembering how they came to discover it. It wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience, and neither was realising that there were other massive changes. 

“Well, plenty of time to figure it out then!” He sounds way too cheerful. “Is that why you are staying around then?” 

“How and why are you so happy about-” They wave their hands around a bit. “Me trying to end your and your friends’ life.” 

“There are a lot of people who want us dead you know. For example, there is a priest I made immortal who swore vengeance on me and-” 

“Now you are just. saying things.” Why is literally every single of them so chaotic to talk to? 

Does it have anything to do with how long you live? Are they going to end up like this too? “I don’t really plan to exact vengeance on any of you anymore, it was mostly just. Shock and being upset.” That is a nice way to describe the act of attacking on-stage musicians with a dagger but they digress. “Just don’t like being made fun off, you know? It genuinely hurt.” They say that last part extremely quietly and hope that he maybe didn’t hear it. They like to think they are smarter than that, just letting a bloodthirsty immortal space pirate know how to hurt them. 

“I… that’s not…we didn’t even know you were still alive.”

“Mhm…” Is all they can say to that. 

“Want to um. Come inside?” They watch him awkwardly open the door for them. Do they want to go inside? Maybe for a bit? They step indoors and quickly hurry to the side. Despite everything, Brian seems, at least in comparison to everyone else who isn’t The Aurora, a little more of an acceptable talking companion. Maybe they should ask what his first name is sometimes. They think they are doing relatively well with talking on their side too. Perhaps they should try again, find some topic they could latch on… like maybe…

“You mentioned this is uh… a restored version of this room? What happened to the previous one if I might ask?”

“Oh, I got stuck inside a sun for a century.” He says this so nonchalantly Lyf needs to blink a few times. He catches their expression and elaborates “See there was this space station, awfully tragic, I still get so sad about it sometimes! We made a whole album about it, maybe we should pl-”

“No. No thank you! What was it about the sun? About you getting stuck inside a sun?”

“Yes, well the space station plunged into the sun with me still on it. The bastards left me on it and then they didn’t even have the courtesy to pluck me out of the sun for one hundred years.” 

“Y-you what. They what? What did you do to them to deserve this, did you like, forget to like wash the dishes or-”

“I don’t eat. I cook, yes and cleaning has scheduled shifts, at least we try to maintain them until someone decides to, I don’t know, decides to just throw away the whole tableware out of the airlock because, and I quote, what’s the point if we can just get a new set. The problem is, you can’t really buy anything when you are traversing _the deep space_ and so the entire crew is plate-less for a month and it’s nothing but chaos and destruction.” 

“Oh. Awful. So what you are saying is, if I hypothetically needed a plate it’s best to just have some safely stored, noted.”

“Yes, I think everyone who is reasonable enough does so after the incident.” He pauses for a brief moment. “So about the fucking sun, Jonny threw a party and everyone got so drunk they didn’t even realise I was missing until they needed a pilot”

“They. They threw a party. That lasted 100 years.” Somehow that sounds worse than the Plate Incident. They can almost feel the noise-induced headache. 

“I’ve been alive for long enough to know a century isn’t really _that long_ but I also believe I’m allowed to be a little bitter about it. And remind them of their negligence. On every conceivable occasion.” 

Not _that long_ they think. They don’t know. They honestly have no idea how long they spent drifting aimlessly through space, and to be fair they are still very much drifting. Just on a different spaceship. 

“And personally” Brian continues, “The biggest offence here, bigger than leaving me melted in boiling ball of gas and plasma, is that they completely forgot about my garden! Expect for The Aurora, of course, because she’s a darling.” Lyf can believe that last part. Aurora is very sweet. “So, that is what happened to the last garden. All the plants have died and it took me a while to renovate it.” They wonder if… is it a tinge of sadness in his voice? “Anyway. Might have to add a sofa into the room”

“A… a what? What do plants need a sofa for?”

“Not for the plants, for you silly. If you want to keep coming back here I… don’t want you to sleep on the floor.” Oh. 

“That’s… very sweet of you, I… honestly didn’t expect that…”

“Just happy to be able to share this place with someone I guess? I promise not to wake you up again if I happen to see you around? Sounds good?”

They give a small nod in response. 

“And if you ever feel like it, I can show you how to take care of the plants. It’s simple enough but they all have their needs and! Oh, like…” He watches Brian walk up to the plant they like napping next to. “Like this monstera plant! At first, I used to sprinkle its leaves with water, you see, I read that they like that? But that just made the leaves go brown and wither so after a while I figured I should just wash it with a wet cloth and then make sure to try the leaves off after a while. And would you look at it, good as new!” 

He sounds so genuinely happy, they can’t help but smile a little. It’s been a while since they allowed themself an honest smile. It seems to catch Brian off guard too. 

“I… wasn’t aware your ears did that.”

“Did… what exactly?” they ask in genuine confusion

“Sort of...perk up? When you get happy I assume? It’s rather cute” They swear they can see faint traces of red on Brian’s face. Despite it being metal. They can feel their face getting red as well.

“Um… that’s a strange… complement? To give, but thank you.”

“A-anyway, you know, gardening, cooking, archiving, organizing bank robberies, you know everyone finds themself a hobby. Especially when you don’t need to worry about ever dying.”

“Is the music thing also a part of that?”

“No, that’s different! That’s just how we’ve been made”

They decide not to question that. They don’t think they are ready for what revelations the answer might bring. Instead, they watch Brian finish up his gardening routine and wait for him to leave so they can maybe try and nap. This whole conversation… it wasn’t unpleasant exactly, but it was exhausting. They want to try and sleep it off. Awfully unfair, honestly, that they no longer needed to eat but sleeping was still very much a necessity. They curl between the clay pot plant and the soil bag and watch Brian leave. They think they heard him say goodnight...? And maybe he was muttering something about the sofa? They briefly wonder if he actually needs sleep too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is literally a part in the draft that just says "FUN TIME IN THE SUN"


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some CW for this one, Lyf has a nightmare and they get a little hurt but it's not very descriptive and they get better.
> 
> What gets worse is my ability to write in English. Still. Have fun!

Surely enough, the next time they visit the room, there is a sofa placed awkwardly between a strange plant with spiky blue leaves and, what Lyf recognises as, some species of cactus. It has spikes on it, so that’s what they assume it must be. They make a mental note to push it a little further away from the edge of the sofa. This is also, probably the first time they realise that the plants seem to be, most likely, placed around the room accordingly to their needs, and not just on the basis of aesthetic. They deduce that from the layout of the cactus-shaped plants on the nearby shelf, as each of them is placed next to a small light spot. Maybe they shouldn’t move the cactus which is currently residing nearby their brand new sleep spot? After a moment of careful consideration, they decide to push it a little further away for safety reasons, but not too far away, so it can still absorb the light from the tiny spot in the wall it was previously next to. They hope Brian won’t mind. The sofa itself is beige and long enough for them to comfortably lay on. After running their hand through it, they confirm it feels fairly soft.

They came here after a few hours of restless rolling around in their bed, in hopes of maybe getting some well-needed sleep. Just for a little while. Few hours at least. Some time passes but all of their efforts prove to be fruitless. They wonder if maybe they should try to move back on the floor, maybe it wasn’t the room, maybe they should just forever sleep on the ground. No, that is entirely irrational, it would just make their back hurt.

After, what they assume to be, a few minutes of helplessly staring at the barely visible celling they decide to give up for now. Find something to do if they can’t force their brain to just shut down for a moment. 

“Aurora?” They call out loud and surly enough after a moment there is a slight vibration in the air that they read as  _ Yes? _ . 

Lyf isn’t entirely sure how they came to understand her. During one of their very first days on the ship, when they were exploring, they heard someone humming a song they didn’t recognise, too quietly for it to be any of The Mechanisms. They called out to the mysterious singer and sure enough, there was a response. It was mentioned that the ship was sentient but up until this point they didn't exactly understand to what extent. It was all a little bit surprising. What they paid special attention to, however, was the fact that apparently, no one else here can speak directly to her as they can. Some “difference in languages” apparently. They don’t really know where would _they_ learn the language the Aurora spoke in, but she was nice enough to talk to, so they decide to leave this question unanswered. At least for now. 

“Nothing it’s just… can’t sleep again, getting a little…” They don’t want to say lonely.

_ Maybe the thing is you just don’t have to sleep and it’s just something that is difficult to get used to. _

“No, I think… I definitely have to.”

_ Oh well. I guess I thought... since you are… are you still human Lyf?  _

“No idea. I think so?”

_ If your biology changes, even slightly, so might some of your needs? That’s what it was for others at least. From what I observed.  _

“Wait so- All of them were 100% human before? Including Brian? And the wooden one?”

_ None of us actually know what The Toy Solider is, but the rest of them, yes. _

“That… that honestly makes me feel worse somehow.” That and they think it just sounds… painful. They make sure not to tell her that, it somehow sounds… they don’t know. Patronising? 

_ How so? _

“I don’t know. Not really about the biology thing more like... I’m already kind of awful and you are saying that, statistically, I’m just going to get worse.” 

_ Statistically, yes. Something a bit sad about it, what immortality does to people. Or would be. Like I said, not the best one to ask about human mortality code, as I am a spaceship. _

“Hmm...Do you know what the worst thing is, Aurora? I am trying to care, I am trying my best to care when people die but it’s just so much, you know. I...there was so much destruction when I was leaving, I listened to the transmissions- they- everyone was-” 

They stop there and take a deep breath. There was guilt there before, about the three Mechanisms they came to know first. They’ve seen their criminal records back then and they’ve still stuck around. And now they were on  _ their spaceship  _ befriending  _ her _ and thinking about properly befriending  _ one of them _ . These were the people who knew, about everything and did nothing. Sat around and waited for the fireworks and presumably, not for the first time. They knew what was going to happen and they still...left Lyf there. They discard that line of thought quickly. What sort of hubris was it, that made them think immortals would care about one mortal person enough to specifically save them. For that, they can only blame themself. So at this point, they only have two options… Stick around, and maybe in time, they’ll grow to be as murderous as everyone else here or… or leave. It’s exactly like what Brian said. No one is keeping them here, they can just leave. At the same time, it’s not like they know any other immortals. Maybe it was the right time to admit to themself that the last thing they want is to get stuck alone in space again. It’s not even about specifically befriending these people, it’s just the comfort of knowing there is someone else here, someone they can maybe start a conversation with. Space was incredibly lonely and, for the most part, not even stars were visible  enough to keep them company. 

_ Lyfrassir? _

“I’m okay, just thinking.”

_ Everyone changes over time you know? Not everyone can accept that.  _

Huh? Aurora’s voice is usually very monotone but they swear just now she sounded… awfully upset.

_ I’m definitely not who I used to be before. _

They can’t figure out the tone anymore.

“Is… is that a bad thing? Or a good thing?”

_ It’s just a thing. I think part of me went away some time ago. _

“I… I see?” They are not convinced they fully understand the extent of what she means. 

_ I think you should try to get some sleep. _

“Yes, right, thank you. Um, Aurora? Do you ever… have to sleep?”

_ I’m not obligated to answer that. Goodnight. _

“Er, yes goodnight. Thanks for chatting with me.”

_ Anytime. _

Everything goes silent after that and the lights in the room go dim. She’s probably not going to answer anymore, even if they called her again. They might as well attempt sleeping again and hope that maybe, hopefully, they don’t start dreaming.

It takes some time for them to finally drift away.

Nightmares are a tricky thing. Once they noticed a pattern around them, they divided the dreams into categories going of their most basic characteristic. The first category they made is for anything to do with the case, so all of the, way too vibrant in their opinion, dreams about the train (like the dreams where they are one of the corpses melted inside the train’s private cabin), anything that takes place at their old office desk (like the one where the door is closed and they know what is coming but nobody hears them begging and pounding on the door, nobody lets them out), anything to do with scenarios in which they can’t leave really, they decided to put the one about the Black Box literally eating them in this one as well. Though they think it’s slightly in the zone of the second category which is for all the bullshit stress dreams their brain comes up with. Anything they are embarrassed to admit they are even afraid of, including but not limited to: their childhood pet cat is playing with them but in this scenario, they are a toy ball, or they have three different shifts, in three different workplaces all at the same time and all of their managers are yelling at them for being late. Stupid, nonsensical things like that, which either get them a bit scared or just awfully stressed. 

The third category is the one that really, truly concerns them. Mostly because these don’t even feel like dreams, it’s like they never fell asleep in the first place. It feels like they are  _ waking up _ from a dream in this weird nothing place. They are just fully conscious, fully aware in a complete void and there is something else here with them but it never shows itself or reacts to them screaming. In the back of their head, there is always this fear that they are not coming back from here ever again, that this their existence now. Empty black of the endless void where something lurks around, close enough to scare them but not close to letting itself be known. They always wake up more tired from these.

Of course, luck has it it’s one of the category three dreams today. When they wake up in the absolute nothingness they are almost annoyed. So much time spent rolling around just for this. They even changed rooms, for gods’ sake. Maybe if they don’t wake up from this at least whatever remains of their body will feed the plants. No, wait Brian would have found them before that. 

It takes them a moment to notice something is different this time. Their shadowy companion dwellers are nowhere to be seen (or heard for that matter). And then something hits them so forcefully they fall on the...floor? How is there any floor, how can they fall when there was never anything to fall onto? There wasn’t anything to stand on, let alone to fall on. The next thing they realise is the faint glimmer of sharp white... teeth? And there is nothing but a cutting pain in their leg. And then in their arm. And hand. Shit, shit, shit they are being eaten and it feels way too realistic they need to wake up. Now. Now, please. They feel something slide onto their face and take a deep breath- 

They wake up so suddenly that they almost tumble to the floor. They are awake now, they wished so hard to wake up and now they are back. It was just a dream, it doesn’t hurt anymore- expect- when they look at their palm there is a clear red stain on it. Their hand is cut and also… they are messily covered up with a blanket they didn’t bring with them. It also takes them a moment to notice that  there is someone else in the room.

“Are you… okay?” They do recognise that voice. Brian, of course, that makes sense.

“Yes. Yes, I’m fine now. Why is there a blanket on me?” What a hilariously stupid question to ask in this situation. They can hear Brian come closer to them so they shift a little to make some space for him on the sofa. They can feel the weight when he sits down but they make sure not to look straight at his face. 

“I thought, well, this might be a perfect plant temperature but it might not be perfect Lyfrassir temperature.” He makes a brief pause and then continues “Well, actually different parts of this room are adjusted to different plants, for example, it’s warmer near the ceiling where the ferns are and- The point is, it’s probably a little cold where the sofa is. I thought it would be the right thing to do, keep you warm and all.”

“Thank you.” They think that maybe wasn’t enthusiastic enough. “I genuinely appreciate it. Cannot tell the difference in temperature sometimes.”

“Is that…” They watch Brian make a hand gesture “An eldrich thing or-”

They take a moment to think the question through. No, that seems like something they’ve always had.

“No, that’s definitely a Lyfrassir thing.” They wrap the blank around themself tighter. Now that Brian has mentioned it they fully realise how cold they are.

“And your hand? I think you got um? Hurt somehow?” 

Oh, so he noticed.

“It’s okay, it’s healing. No idea how that happened” They say and it’s only partially a lie. 

“Can I… take a look at it? I actually used to be a proper doctor.” Great, another one claiming to have a medical degree. “Don’t look at me like this Lyf, I mean it. Now, may I?”

They hesitantly extend their hand to Brian. The cut has already turned into a scab and has been steadily continuing to heal. He 

“It’s almost gone already, that’s goo- are you quite all right?” 

His hand is  _ warm _ . They can’t help but jump a little. 

“I’m all right, it’s just. It’s warm. You are warm and I didn’t expect that given the… you know... metal.” They can’t quite read Brian’s expression. “I’m sorry if that was a rude thing to say.”

They are fully holding his hand now, partly to reassure him it’s alright and partly because it is pleasant. 

“That is, I would say, a bit rude but yes. A common misconception, but yes I’m warm. Maybe a bit too warm and the metal texture probably feels a little weird and-”

“No, no… it’s nice. Your hands feel nice.” Was that an appropriate thing to say? It was nice though. A little surprising but nice. It’s been so long since anyone touched their hands, let alone so gently. They squeeze his hand a little tighter. 

“Do… you want to um… talk about the- You woke up so suddenly-”

“No.” They probably should. It would’ve been a healthy thing to do. 

“You probably should? Whenever you are ready, of course, I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

They let themself play with Brian’s fingers for a little. If he minds he doesn’t say anything.

“Brian…” They start, a little awkwardly “Do you um. Do you ever sleep?”

“Not really.”

“Lucky.” They mutter.

“Hmmm… Kind of miss it sometimes.” Oh. Huh. 

“Sorry if that upset you.” They hope he doesn’t let go of their hand.

“It’s okay. Do you, uh want to go back to sleep?” 

“I… don’t think so.”

“Should I go or-”

“Stay please?” That was difficult to say. “You can tell me some more about the plants, or like whatever else you want, can even be music” They do realise how desperate they sound right now. Hopefully, he won’t mind and won’t just storm out of the room, or worse, laugh at them.

“What about witchcraft? Or necromancy? I can teach you about those.” These sound perfect, mostly because they don’t think they’ve heard of this ne-cro-man-cy before.

“Sure.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (claps hands) Robots! Are! Warm! They overheat like laptops.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self-indulgence. This entire chapter is just self-indulgence.  
> Also, this one had a beta reader! wo-ho!

The next few weeks (or so, they try to get in habit of measuring the passage of time again) are… strange to say the least. Firstly, they can barely sleep anywhere at this point, not in their room and not even in Brian’s green room and whenever they manage to, it’s almost always category three dreams and they just wake up from them more tired than before.

The dreams themself are another oddity because while they still feel completely awake during them, it’s now evolved from nothingness to a place. Or places, to be more precise, because they are certain it’s never the same. Sometimes it’s the same old void, but more… physical, it has places to stand on, air to breathe, and ever since they got attacked that makes them awfully paranoid. Every time they end up there it’s a fight with their brain to wake up as soon as possible. They usually win pretty fast.

Occasionally, it’s a planet, but never the ones they’ve visited before. Green hills, vast oceans, mountains, volcanos, strange worlds they wouldn’t even be able to describe while awake. But they never see anyone living in those places, they never even see any animals there. They stroll around until it’s time to wake up and once they do, they find that their legs hurt

Other times it’s just space. It’s not like the deep space they are by now used to seeing, no, it’s mostly colours and lights, although always very distant. Those dreams are entirely quiet and strangely cold. It takes them a bit to warm up afterwards.

The dreams rotate around without any rhyme and reason and while they, for the majority of the time, less stressful they definitely don’t provide enough rest. They drag themself around the hallways and corridors of the Aurora, hoping they simply will not collapse on the floor. They aren’t sure if anyone would actually bother to move them.

That’s another strange thing, they never see anyone else other by Brian anymore. Even the strange cat creatures seem to be hiding. The Aurora still chats with them but she seems so out of it lately they feel bad about bothering her with their own problems. They wonder if Brian asked everyone to leave them alone, or maybe... they are simply not very interesting and not worth bothering. They hope this doesn’t mean they’ll be kicked off the ship any soon. Not right after they started to bond with someone. Though they aren’t entirely sure what reasons he has to bond with them.

They eventually make it to the plant room and manage to successfully crawl on the sofa. Aside from the blanket, Brian now leaves them with two additional pillows, which they are extremely thankful for. They end up falling asleep almost imminently and this time it’s thankfully normal sleep.

The next time they open their eyes, someone is talking to them and it takes them a moment to figure out it is Brian.

“You. You nocked my cactus down. With one of those.” He points out at a coiling mess of limbs coming out of their body. “Are those like? Tentacles?”

“Yes.” They don’t know what else to say. These don’t just spawn on their own normally, they make sure to keep them hidden away as best as they can. They are too sleepy to deal with someone discovering them _now_. Although, so far, he isn’t screaming in fear so that’s good.

“Oh, dear.” That’s a mild reaction for sure. “I lost.”

“You… what? What did you lose?” They are still quite baffled by this reaction. To be honest, if you live for this long you probably get to see and experience all sort of strange things but this is the strangest reaction to someone seeing their tentacles they’ve witnessed so far. They kind of want to see what he would think about all the other things they can do.

“Nothing. There certainly is nothing I could have lost-”

“That is a lie, Brian.” They only try that because over time they have picked up just how bad of a liar he was. On some days he couldn’t lie at all, on others he was so bad at it they could see right through him. 

“No, it is not. I’m simply withholding the truth from you.”

“Can you… not withhold it from me, please?” They try their absolute best to sound polite, maybe this will convince him.

“I… Please don’t get upset.”

“That depends on what you are about to say next.”

“We maybe, kind of, but it was well-intentioned, made a bet…”

“Mhm,” They don’t like the sound of that.

“A bet on whether you actually got tentacles now or not, and I lost because I genuinely thought since I’ve never seen you with them, that there is no way you would be able to hide them like this, or that you would’ve told someone-”

“I can just keep them hidden if they make you uncomfortable as I did before.”

“No, that’s not my point. My point is I now owe Ashes six whole gold bars.” Ashes, Ashes, they think they know which one is Ashes. “But, so does Raphaella and Ivy and Jonny, and we also owe Tim and Marius the satisfaction of being right.”

There is a lot to unpack there.

“Wait, la Cognizi thought I shouldn’t have tentacles? And Alexandria too?”

“They said it’s scientifically plausible, but they don’t have any visible proof of it and also, they just probably wanted to be on the opposite side of the conflict from Marius.”

“I dread asking but… What is Von Raum’s logic here?”

“He said, and I quote that it “ _makes sense_ ” and “ _would be kind of interesting._ ”

Oh great, _interesting_. He is not seeing these any time soon.

“Maybe you shouldn’t tell them. It would be in our shared interest, and it’s not lying because I am simply trying to protect my personal information.”

“Oh, I’m most definitely not going to share this then, won’t even mention it.”

“Great, thank you.”

They play around with one of the loose limbs. Brian seems okay with them so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to show him what else they could do. They haven’t really got a chance to talk any of this, with anyone and the perspective of someone just… not having a negative reaction, is kind of exciting. It may not come up again.

“Would you like to see what else I can do?” They ask, and it comes out a bit more hesitant than they would’ve wanted.

“Oh, you have more of…” He gestures at the coiling mass of iridescent limbs. They are aware that the tentacles twitch so much because of how nervous they are, but as long as Brian doesn’t know this, it’s fine.

“Yes, but not necessarily like that. Look at this, for example.” They focus a little and surely enough, grow two colourful antennas from their forehead. They decide to read Brian’s expression as amusement. “These can sense all sort of… I don’t know it’s like waves? I can also do this.” They reach behind their back and pull out a thin tail with a fluffy end. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know what use this can have, but I could grow more than one if I wanted to.” They let the tail fall down and begin to rhythmically slap it on the border of the sofa.

“You can just make these?”

They nod.

“And I can also make wings”

“Can I… see them?”

“Sure, but I’ll have to take my shirt off, I don’t want to make holes in it.” Brian just keeps looking at them. “C… can you turn around please?”

“Oh. Oh sure, yes, absolutely!” He sounds a little embarrassed. 

They take off their shirt and shift a bit on the sofa in order to make their wings fit better and spread them out. They turn backwards to Brian and call out.

“They are… beautiful.” Is all he says. The wings do shimmer with colours and they certainly are fluffy but that’s all they are. Decorative but useless.

“Thank you, I suppose. I don’t really know how to fly though.”

Brian doesn’t say anything to that. They kind of thought he would want them to try.

“Do you know how you can just… create extra body parts?” 

“So, my current theory is,” They start without really bothering to lock back at their companion. “Is that I can switch between these forms all I want because I’m incomplete. Only got enough exposure with the Bifrost for half apotheosis. It’s like...” They make a hand gesture, although they aren’t sure how much of it, Brian can actually see. “Liquid form instead of a set one. Shapeshifting.”

“It… doesn’t hurt, does it?” For whatever reason, he sounds concerned. They need to take some time to think but no, it doesn’t hurt anymore.

“No.”

“Do you mind me touching the wings?” The very first question they have is _what for_? Curiosity probably. La Cognzi has wings but they look very different from the ones Lyf can make.

“Yes but don’t tug on them and do not pluck my feathers out.’

“I would never! I’ll be as gentle as possible.” 

It takes them a bit to get used to the feeling but his hands are still as warm as they were before and he is stroking the back of their feathers with extreme gentleness. In fact, it kind of...tickles. They can’t help but giggle a little.

“Oh no, did that hurt?” Brian sounds so concerned they almost feel bad about startling him like this. He takes his hands away too and they don’t quite want that just yet. 

“No, they are just ticklish, I had no idea because you are the first one to run your hands through them.” They try to hold up the giggles to speak. “It’s nice. It makes me kind of happy, actually.”

“That’s good, I’m glad to see you cheered up, that definitely helps with getting better. Also, it’s just nice to see you smile.”

“Is that what you are trying to do? Help me get better?” They decide to ignore that second part for now, whatever that is supposed to mean.

“I am very much trying to help you get better.”

They lean back and turn their head to look directly at him.

“Are you helping me because you think it’s a morally correct thing to do?” Maybe they shouldn’t have said that because that makes Brian frown.

“Or, I’m helping you because I’m a person who is entitled to their thoughts and feelings, and I happen to be genuinely concerned with your wellbeing because I know how hard it is at first and I know people here are not exactly eager to openly discuss their feelings.” He says all of it in one breath and now they know they fucked up. 

“Sorry, it’s just kind of… I know none of you cares about anything or anyone outside of your circle, and sometimes I can’t be even sure if you care for each other, so I’m trying to find some reasoning to all of this.” They take a deep breath. There are no more stories left to be told about Lyfrassir Edda, there is barely anything left to them and they find it hard to believe these pirates don’t want anything from them. “Just that this morality thing seems like your thing.”

“Yeah, you could say that it’s _my thing_. Made some poor judgements in the past.” 

“I see. Sorry again.” So that’s not it. There must be something else then. “So what is it then? What do I owe this general niceness to?”

“You find it that hard believe that I just happen to care about you?”

“Yes. And also, turn around, I want to dress up and actually be able to properly look at you if we are talking.”

He does and they finish hiding their wings, and all of the other peculiarities for that matter put their shirt back on. They gently tug on Brian’s arm to let him know they are ready. 

“You think every interaction you have is a transaction.” He says.

“Yes, and I will figure out what exactly it is that you want from them.” 

“I want to help you settle down after a horrible, traumatic event in your life?” Which maybe could’ve been avoided if you or your friends did anything to help. They know they shouldn’t think like that but it’s hard not to.

“That is very sweet of you, but _why_?” 

“Because… I want to?”

“Mhm. I’ll figure you out eventually.”

“Sure… I’ll be going to get my cooking shift done if you’ll excuse me.” Lyf wonders if they upset him. “I imagine I won’t be seeing you at dinner?”

“Absolutely not. No offence but that event is pure chaos.”

“None was taken.”

He is smiling as he leaves but they can’t help but notice the smile looks kind of sad. They can’t figure out why though. 

**Author's Note:**

> Do you enjoy tense inconsistency? Yeah 😔  
> Edit: updated so it's (hopefully) no longer a wall of text


End file.
